I was having a HEART ATTACK

Just over two years ago, I was standing in the kitchen with my husband, Justin.  We were trying to get dinner on the table, the kids were loud, Sarah was doing her "woodpecker thing" she does, homework was dangling, piano lessons had just finished up for me.  I kept saying to Justin that "I can't breathe."  I just kept saying it over and over and the only relief would come when I would literally bend over and hang my head upside down.  I seriously thought I was having a heart attack after a while.

Justin was wise and took me straight to the doctor.  

I was feeling so frustrated that the doctor wasn't checking my heart out...not even listening to it.  He was just sittin there on that little rolly stool thing and kept asking me questions.  I was so frustrated!

Then all the sudden the doctor starts to tell me that I just experienced a Panic Attack.

"What?  A What? Huh?"  I kept thinking--"uh, no I'm not.  I'm not stressed!"

Then he starts to say that I need to take it easy and stop doing so much and that I probably need to start some medication.

"Oh my heavens!  Seriously?!?!"

A flood gate of thoughts was pouring all over in my head at this point.  I did not need medication.  I just came here because I can't breathe!  My heart has always had some funny little skip to it...it's gotta be that.  I hate medication.  I have my life completely under control.  I just need to exercise more.  I really need to just eat better.  The one time I was on medication was from the baby blue stuff when Allison was born.  That was two years ago. I hated it!  I got myself off it and never need to go back there again!  I am way too strong for that.  Nope...Heavenly Father will help me...I know it!

Well, folks.  I'm so glad that I have a very wise husband that he just got me calmed down (he does that so well) and let me know we can just give it a try and go from there.  We did just that.  I battled over and over about that MEDICATION!!!  I questioned and questioned and questioned what I was doing.  I promised my smart husband though that I would do it.

This day that I'm talking about is where my diagnosis story begins.  I will never ever forget it!  My body just couldn't take it anymore and I like to think that this was my body telling me that it had had enough. It was time to change!

I like this quote by President Thomas S. Monson:

"Throughout our lives, we must deal with change.  Some changes are welcome; some are not.  There are changes in our lives which are sudden...."

I was determined to make this sudden change that came upon me something that was welcome because on that day it was not feeling very welcome at all!

I guess this face is how I felt about that change at that moment?!?!