It's been three months now that I've been taking Empowerplus Supplements. I haven't posted for a little while because I've been off on another project in all my free time (posts to come soon on my Family History projects). Now that I'm gaining a little more history with these wonderful vitamins, I'm wanting to let those interested in on some details. I'm going to try to post more consistently.
Things I've learned:
My ups and downs haven't all been controlled by the supplements but don't let this deceive you...I want to still have ups and downs! It's human to have these ups and downs. I want to have "normal for me" good and bad days. What is important is that I feel like these supplements have taken my "Extreme" ups and downs away.
When I get feeling extra moody or more headaches come on then I take a look at things like my water intake, my hours of sleep, stresses around me, have I done something for me lately and then decide if those are all doing well than I'll take more amino acids. I usually see a difference if not by the end of the day than the next day...proving to me that my body is just simply lacking in this needed nutrition.
I have a goal to get in with my doctor soon and have a blood draw across the board to just see where my levels are. I would suggest this to any of you that are trying these supplements. It'd just be so wise. I'll make it there one of these days!
For me, 2 Empowerplus supplements and 2 amino acids at breakfast and then the same at lunch is doing it! I feel balanced energy and moods. I'm not feeling like I need naps in the afternoon on the days that I get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
I love that I'm seeing side affects of taking medication go away. I love that my skin seems to be a little healthier and my hair seems to be even a little healthier.
Through the phone support I have learned it's very important to not add other vitamin supplements and such to what I'm taking. They have a unique balance that works together so just adding capsules and taking away capsules has been the answer for me. I do however still use Doterra oils, Epsom Salt Baths and my Calm drink. Click and follow links to read more!
Last but certainly not the least...I've learned that many of you that have started taking these too are having wonderful results. It's precious to me to learn new things and I love that not only my nutrition is improving greatly but that somehow I'm able to help others find answers they are seeking!!!
If you're wanting to try a sample... http://www.mymojoback.com/
Showing posts with label Depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Depression. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
What I Want You to Know About Empowerplus Supplements
J. Scott Wilson has introduced me to the fact that Q96 has the Empowerplus capsules that I am taking. I was searching for a less expensive way to use this all-natural supplement and I've found it!
Some Things I Want You to Know About Q96:
1. Over a 4 day period I worked my way up to taking 2 capsules at breakfast and 2 at dinner. Everybody is different. This is a pretty normal dose though. I avoided getting a sick stomach by eating a little, taking the capsules and then finished eating. I was planning on going off of my psychotropic medications so I was advised to take the transitional support as well (basically amino acids to help build up again): one at breakfast, one at lunch and one at dinner.
2. This product was formulated 18 years ago by Tony Stephan of Canada to help alleviate the symptoms of severe mental illness in his family. The documentary done by Discovery Channel on Q96 on YouTube is very informative. Today these capsules are used by thousands of people to help with five things: coping, calm, clarity, confidence and connection.
3. This may not work for everyone. What I told myself when I started this was "natural supplements can't hurt me. It can only help so it's worth the try." I started to see my anxiety and panic attacks go away after a week and I'm hoping to see more help over the next year. Others have seen it start to work after a month or 6 months-up to a year.
4. This is safe for children. If they can't swallow pills there is a strawberry banana powder to put into smoothies.
5. Micronutrient Support is a help line that has been in existence in Canada for 18 years and they helped over 100,000 people, safely wean off of their medications. If you are taking psychotropic medications, do not do this alone or you may experience adverse drug reactions or withdrawal. You must get help from you doctor or from this support to wean off your meds (866-397-3116 or www.micronutrientsupport.com). There is a $50/month fee, but most only need the help for one month.
6. If you'd like to give someone a trial, please share the information I've included here. If three of them end up buying product, you can get yours for free. Please take a look around www.MyMojoBack.com for more information, products, testimonials and there is also business opportunity if you're interested.
7. If you have any questions about Q96 call Scott. If you have questions about my own experience than you can contact me or just keep coming back here--there will be updates. Hoping that someone else out there will find answers!!!
His contact Info:
J. Scott Wilson
435-531-9540
Or call The Q Sciences Success Team (385-374-6400)
Some Things I Want You to Know About Q96:
1. Over a 4 day period I worked my way up to taking 2 capsules at breakfast and 2 at dinner. Everybody is different. This is a pretty normal dose though. I avoided getting a sick stomach by eating a little, taking the capsules and then finished eating. I was planning on going off of my psychotropic medications so I was advised to take the transitional support as well (basically amino acids to help build up again): one at breakfast, one at lunch and one at dinner.
2. This product was formulated 18 years ago by Tony Stephan of Canada to help alleviate the symptoms of severe mental illness in his family. The documentary done by Discovery Channel on Q96 on YouTube is very informative. Today these capsules are used by thousands of people to help with five things: coping, calm, clarity, confidence and connection.
3. This may not work for everyone. What I told myself when I started this was "natural supplements can't hurt me. It can only help so it's worth the try." I started to see my anxiety and panic attacks go away after a week and I'm hoping to see more help over the next year. Others have seen it start to work after a month or 6 months-up to a year.
4. This is safe for children. If they can't swallow pills there is a strawberry banana powder to put into smoothies.
5. Micronutrient Support is a help line that has been in existence in Canada for 18 years and they helped over 100,000 people, safely wean off of their medications. If you are taking psychotropic medications, do not do this alone or you may experience adverse drug reactions or withdrawal. You must get help from you doctor or from this support to wean off your meds (866-397-3116 or www.micronutrientsupport.com). There is a $50/month fee, but most only need the help for one month.
6. If you'd like to give someone a trial, please share the information I've included here. If three of them end up buying product, you can get yours for free. Please take a look around www.MyMojoBack.com for more information, products, testimonials and there is also business opportunity if you're interested.
7. If you have any questions about Q96 call Scott. If you have questions about my own experience than you can contact me or just keep coming back here--there will be updates. Hoping that someone else out there will find answers!!!
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Meds to Supplements?!?!
I've been nonexistent on this blog for a while. I've decided that once Halloween draws near, a mother's schedule seems to speed up into a bit of a blur. Thanksgiving is hiding right behind the pumpkins and Christmas carols, lights and lists of giving take over from there. This is all certainly true for me but this year has been a little different as my anxiety has crept back in as well. I'm not really surprised because I've been on the same medication/same dose for about a year and a half.
I find it interesting that psychotropic medications help once you get a great balance, but there is always the knowledge that at some point it will probably stop working for some reason or another and it will be time to tweak it a bit or try something new.
So, my husband and I began to pray. That is always where we turn! Our Father in Heaven has always lead us in the past and we knew he would again.
I was sort of expecting for guidance at the psychiatrist office; maybe I would receive inspiration on how to describe what I'm now experiencing so my meds could be corrected. But, I kept having the feeling we needed to visit with a friend about some supplements she started having her son take a while back. The son was diagnosed with Bipolar and after a year of taking these new supplements is a whole new person. He no longer has that diagnosis. It's been a miracle for them and I've stood on the sideline and watched. I've seen him transform!
This families experience just kept coming to our mind. It was no coincidence when my husband happened into their home for something else and found the mother and father there. He set up a dinner date for the following week and we went.
We picked there brains about this Canadian company called True Hope. It's been around since 1996 and is also known as Q Sciences. They sell micronutrient Empower Plus. These are nutritional supplements packed with a balance of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants that our bodies need. They've been shown to be a mood stabilizer for many people that have psychotropic issues but also just plain out stressed. What Mother or Father isn't stressed?!?! We knew I needed to try it. Our only hang up was cost. It's pretty handy to have insurance pay for Psychiatrist visits and only have copays for medications each month.
In our research and trying to solve our money issue, we came across the fact that True Hope Empower Plus is the exact same as Empower Plus-Q96 supplements. We figured out a way to get the supplements and support for less money! (still learning more about this...details/links to come)
Can I just tell you right now that after just 7 days of taking these and still on my same medications I began to see a difference. Remember I said my anxiety and panic attacks were creeping in on me again. My moods were starting to control my days again. I was probably feeling the chest tightening, hard to breathe thing a few times a day...having to turn to my Lorazepam (take as needed medication) at least a couple times a week. In these 7 days, I could see my panic, tight chest feeling hadn't been there. I'm floored it began to work so quickly and after questioning the support staff have been told it's not uncommon for people to see results like that in the first 7 days.
The support phone calls that are available when you buy the supplements are helping me go off my medication now. It's been 2 1/2 weeks and I'm now taking half of the medication that I was when I started. It's only been 2 1/2 weeks!!! I haven't really skipped a beat. I'm feeling much better than I was. Honestly I kept debating over and over whether I should wait to do this switch until after the holidays and then finally decided that really "it's never a good time" so I jumped in. I did not expect to keep on with my daily routines as normal for a while.
So, here I am again just sharing a secret that I've literally been lead to. Let me make clear that taking medications and receiving therapy have been a huge blessing in my life! They have paid a huge role in leading me down a path of healing and help. I just want to share the progress and experience I have with learning about a more natural way of receiving help now that I'm at a place that I can actually see through the clouds. I share all this because it is therapeutic to me to hope that maybe someone else out there may benefit. As I learn, I'll share many more details here. Feel free to follow...
I find it interesting that psychotropic medications help once you get a great balance, but there is always the knowledge that at some point it will probably stop working for some reason or another and it will be time to tweak it a bit or try something new.
So, my husband and I began to pray. That is always where we turn! Our Father in Heaven has always lead us in the past and we knew he would again.
I was sort of expecting for guidance at the psychiatrist office; maybe I would receive inspiration on how to describe what I'm now experiencing so my meds could be corrected. But, I kept having the feeling we needed to visit with a friend about some supplements she started having her son take a while back. The son was diagnosed with Bipolar and after a year of taking these new supplements is a whole new person. He no longer has that diagnosis. It's been a miracle for them and I've stood on the sideline and watched. I've seen him transform!
This families experience just kept coming to our mind. It was no coincidence when my husband happened into their home for something else and found the mother and father there. He set up a dinner date for the following week and we went.
We picked there brains about this Canadian company called True Hope. It's been around since 1996 and is also known as Q Sciences. They sell micronutrient Empower Plus. These are nutritional supplements packed with a balance of vitamins, minerals and antioxidants that our bodies need. They've been shown to be a mood stabilizer for many people that have psychotropic issues but also just plain out stressed. What Mother or Father isn't stressed?!?! We knew I needed to try it. Our only hang up was cost. It's pretty handy to have insurance pay for Psychiatrist visits and only have copays for medications each month.
In our research and trying to solve our money issue, we came across the fact that True Hope Empower Plus is the exact same as Empower Plus-Q96 supplements. We figured out a way to get the supplements and support for less money! (still learning more about this...details/links to come)
Can I just tell you right now that after just 7 days of taking these and still on my same medications I began to see a difference. Remember I said my anxiety and panic attacks were creeping in on me again. My moods were starting to control my days again. I was probably feeling the chest tightening, hard to breathe thing a few times a day...having to turn to my Lorazepam (take as needed medication) at least a couple times a week. In these 7 days, I could see my panic, tight chest feeling hadn't been there. I'm floored it began to work so quickly and after questioning the support staff have been told it's not uncommon for people to see results like that in the first 7 days.
The support phone calls that are available when you buy the supplements are helping me go off my medication now. It's been 2 1/2 weeks and I'm now taking half of the medication that I was when I started. It's only been 2 1/2 weeks!!! I haven't really skipped a beat. I'm feeling much better than I was. Honestly I kept debating over and over whether I should wait to do this switch until after the holidays and then finally decided that really "it's never a good time" so I jumped in. I did not expect to keep on with my daily routines as normal for a while.
So, here I am again just sharing a secret that I've literally been lead to. Let me make clear that taking medications and receiving therapy have been a huge blessing in my life! They have paid a huge role in leading me down a path of healing and help. I just want to share the progress and experience I have with learning about a more natural way of receiving help now that I'm at a place that I can actually see through the clouds. I share all this because it is therapeutic to me to hope that maybe someone else out there may benefit. As I learn, I'll share many more details here. Feel free to follow...
Monday, December 9, 2013
Ideas to Calm Your Stress/Anxiety
I wanted to share a few "coping mechanisms" (shall I call it) to manage stress. I gathered each of these ideas from a doctor and have found them to work wonders!
Magnesium is the secret! Magnesium is involved in biochemical reactions that keep our bones strong, our hearts healthy and our nervous system functioning like it should. It's a concern of mine to focus on my nervous system being that I have mental disorders.
Each night before I go to bed I take a Calcium & Magnesium supplement. I naturally try to eat foods high in calcium and magnesium but this extra supplement before bed calms my mind and my body.
When I've had an extra busy day or an extra busy mind (feeling anxiety or panic setting in) I pull out a drink called "Calm." You can get it at health food stores or just order it online. I was nervous to see that it was lemon flavored because when I was super sick with my pregnancy it was "lemon" that got me through. I avoid lemon now because I can't handle the memories it brings back of that sickness. I love this drink though! It really does taste good. It's sort of like a lemon lime soda. It has a little fizz to it.
And the last thing I'll share today is "epsom salt baths." Hello! It makes so much sense. Do we not soak sore feet or injuries in this stuff?!?! Why not our body? You're supposed to dissolve 2 cups of epsom salt in a full bath tub and use 3 drops of lavender oil or my favorite--rose oil. Climb in and soak for 20 minutes.
When I use these baths I literally feel a calm come over me from head to toe. I've used "Lorazepam" medication to stop my panic attacks in the past and these baths give me that same exact feeling. I'm so happy to have a much more natural way to help.
Hope these little tips help. They sure have blessed my life!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
A Pattern of "Highs" and "Lows"
...continued
I left that office with the red winged back chair. I had my arms full of reading material and a new prescription but I did not have the same conviction that my doctor did. I didn't believe that I had Bipolar...yet.
There was temple trips, lots and lots of praying and a plethora of studying going on at our house. Through my studies I first found a wonderful psychologist (therapist) and then I began to realize the "highs" and also the "lows" in my life that were making me see that this diagnosis was real.
I mentioned in my earlier post very detailed descriptions of the "lows" I was experiencing that sent me to the doctors in the first place. At that time I did not recognize that I had previously been experiencing many highs that made my body crash into a out right panic attack. That panic attack sent me into that cycle of "lows."
Hmmm, I was seeing a very real pattern going on.
My "highs" looked something like this (by the way this was all at one time...not kidding):
-walking every morning at 5:00am
-baking bread constantly
-teaching preschool
-I was coming up with numerous ideas as I lay awake at night
-selling Shelf Reliance with 3+ shows a week
-caring for a Special Needs daughter that was starting to hit puberty
-taking care of a 2 year old that was starting to potty train
-throw a 9 year old boy in there that needs to be loved
-I had racing thoughts all day about everything
-supporting my husband that was back at the airlines finally after being laid off but huge pay cut, oh, and gone 4 days at a time.
-teaching piano lessons to 12 students every week
-ward music leader
-visiting teacher (serving and caring for a couple different women)
-following a cleaning schedule every day to the T! (my house was soooo clean)
-laundry was always done
-dishes were always done
-feeding the missionaries dinner probably weekly
-mowing the lawn
-homemade dinner was always on the table
-keeping up a personal blog
-keeping up a cooking a Shelf Reliance Preparedness Blog
-taking sales calls daily
-listening to conference calls weekly and training team members to do what I did
-reading my Sunday school lessons on time every week
-reading scriptures every day
-clothes were laid out for school every week at a time
-had creative and different school lunches for the kids everyday
-then my high continued into the summer as well...yup...did all this with the kids home!!!
Doesn't that all sound so wonderful? It was! I was loving it! I was feeling "on top of the world." I said those exact words to my doctor I'll have you know. Then I told him how frustrated I was that all the sudden I couldn't do any of it anymore. My chest was tight all the time. I couldn't breathe and all of this stopped! I didn't like it all! My home was running like a very well oiled machine and now it's out of control.
So, when I began to put this all together and realize I really had just come out of a few months of being in a Manic or High Cycle to then a Depressive or Low Cycle that was lasting more than a month at that time I questioned my history. I wanted to look back in my life to see if there was a pattern.
I realized in some of my reading material I was given that, my doctor had been trying to tell me that another sign of Bipolar was my "baby blues" that I had experienced after my babies were born.
Sure enough, I popped open my journals and began to remember...
Back in 2002 when my Sarah was born, it was an emotional roller coaster for sure. We almost lost her to death multiple times and we were just trying to keep her alive on top of learning to be a first time parents. I really truly just hung on by my finger tips. I floated through that year on my FAITH!
Then I got pregnant with Spencer when she was 15 months old and was told He may not make it to term, and if he did, wouldn't survive more than a few hours. He had cysts on his brain that lead to another one of those genetic disorders that we were already way too familiar with from our still very sick daughter. Once again, I hung on by my finger tips and floated through with my FAITH!
He was born and strong as ever! It was a miracle! I bounced back wonderfully after his birth. Until he hit 4 months old I was running all over the place and making amazing strides with Sarah's health and accomplishing all kinds of good. Well, at about that 4 month period, I remember sitting there staring at Spencer wondering "what have we done?" He would wake every 2 hours at night and scream. I went through a depressive state that I now recognize as such from journal entries.
When Spencer was a year old, I could see that a Manic or High cycle hit me again. I started working out at the gym every day. We moved form one city to a neighboring one and I did it pretty much all by myself while Justin was working and studying. I saw many of the "highs" that I mentioned above in this time.
Then we made a large move across states due to Justin being hired on at the airlines FINALLY! It was a huge change and soooo welcome. A couple months after our move I had a miscarriage. Right away I think I was handling it quite well. I bounced back to what you might call a "high" until months later when I still couldn't get pregnant and I could see a "low" or depressive state set in for a while.
The first real noticeable "low" or depressive cycle that was noticeable to others was after my Allison was born in 2009. It was another battle through lots of pregnancy sickness followed by 3 months of complete bed rest! Seriously! I emotionally did really well through all of that and then just like before I bounced out of bed after that baby was born and all those "highs" from above came back.
Then just like before, when Allison hit 4 months old was that noticeable "low." That one that sent me into my Bishop for the first time. That one that sent me into my OBGYN begging for help. That one that made me swallow the first medication I had ever tried. I took it until Allison was a year old and then I slowly took myself off it.
And that took me up to my "highs" in the summer of 2011. That landed me at my Panic Attack and then to that moment that I was sitting in my bedroom searching my journals trying to remember and trying to put patterns together as I was in and out of my therapists' office with this new diagnosis of Bipolar.
I had my answer. It came to me through study but mostly a very soft, peaceful, confirming feeling from my Heavenly Father that I could feel from my head clear down to my toes. I had Bipolar and Anxiety Disorder. I had a doctor and a therapist that I was clearly led to. I had a husband that loved me "no matter what." I had a Bishop that was leading and guiding and teaching me that I needed to fix what was broken. I had parents and in-laws that were flying out to help me. I had dear friends that were watching children and such.
I knew as do the psychiatrists and psychologists that my set of symptoms that were present in clusters were lasting for a certain length of time, and were "episodes" that literally had a beginning phase, a middle "worst" phase, and a recovery phase. I knew that I needed an antidepressant and a mood stabilizer medication at the right dosage for me. I knew I also needed help with sorting things out in my mind and tools to help me and my family.
I was learning that this was a life long journey for me.
I left that office with the red winged back chair. I had my arms full of reading material and a new prescription but I did not have the same conviction that my doctor did. I didn't believe that I had Bipolar...yet.
There was temple trips, lots and lots of praying and a plethora of studying going on at our house. Through my studies I first found a wonderful psychologist (therapist) and then I began to realize the "highs" and also the "lows" in my life that were making me see that this diagnosis was real.
I mentioned in my earlier post very detailed descriptions of the "lows" I was experiencing that sent me to the doctors in the first place. At that time I did not recognize that I had previously been experiencing many highs that made my body crash into a out right panic attack. That panic attack sent me into that cycle of "lows."
Hmmm, I was seeing a very real pattern going on.
My "highs" looked something like this (by the way this was all at one time...not kidding):
-walking every morning at 5:00am
-baking bread constantly
-teaching preschool
-I was coming up with numerous ideas as I lay awake at night
-selling Shelf Reliance with 3+ shows a week
-caring for a Special Needs daughter that was starting to hit puberty
-taking care of a 2 year old that was starting to potty train
-throw a 9 year old boy in there that needs to be loved
-I had racing thoughts all day about everything
-supporting my husband that was back at the airlines finally after being laid off but huge pay cut, oh, and gone 4 days at a time.
-teaching piano lessons to 12 students every week
-ward music leader
-visiting teacher (serving and caring for a couple different women)
-following a cleaning schedule every day to the T! (my house was soooo clean)
-laundry was always done
-dishes were always done
-feeding the missionaries dinner probably weekly
-mowing the lawn
-homemade dinner was always on the table
-keeping up a personal blog
-keeping up a cooking a Shelf Reliance Preparedness Blog
-taking sales calls daily
-listening to conference calls weekly and training team members to do what I did
-reading my Sunday school lessons on time every week
-reading scriptures every day
-clothes were laid out for school every week at a time
-had creative and different school lunches for the kids everyday
-then my high continued into the summer as well...yup...did all this with the kids home!!!
Doesn't that all sound so wonderful? It was! I was loving it! I was feeling "on top of the world." I said those exact words to my doctor I'll have you know. Then I told him how frustrated I was that all the sudden I couldn't do any of it anymore. My chest was tight all the time. I couldn't breathe and all of this stopped! I didn't like it all! My home was running like a very well oiled machine and now it's out of control.
So, when I began to put this all together and realize I really had just come out of a few months of being in a Manic or High Cycle to then a Depressive or Low Cycle that was lasting more than a month at that time I questioned my history. I wanted to look back in my life to see if there was a pattern.
I realized in some of my reading material I was given that, my doctor had been trying to tell me that another sign of Bipolar was my "baby blues" that I had experienced after my babies were born.
Sure enough, I popped open my journals and began to remember...
Then I got pregnant with Spencer when she was 15 months old and was told He may not make it to term, and if he did, wouldn't survive more than a few hours. He had cysts on his brain that lead to another one of those genetic disorders that we were already way too familiar with from our still very sick daughter. Once again, I hung on by my finger tips and floated through with my FAITH!
He was born and strong as ever! It was a miracle! I bounced back wonderfully after his birth. Until he hit 4 months old I was running all over the place and making amazing strides with Sarah's health and accomplishing all kinds of good. Well, at about that 4 month period, I remember sitting there staring at Spencer wondering "what have we done?" He would wake every 2 hours at night and scream. I went through a depressive state that I now recognize as such from journal entries.
When Spencer was a year old, I could see that a Manic or High cycle hit me again. I started working out at the gym every day. We moved form one city to a neighboring one and I did it pretty much all by myself while Justin was working and studying. I saw many of the "highs" that I mentioned above in this time.
Then we made a large move across states due to Justin being hired on at the airlines FINALLY! It was a huge change and soooo welcome. A couple months after our move I had a miscarriage. Right away I think I was handling it quite well. I bounced back to what you might call a "high" until months later when I still couldn't get pregnant and I could see a "low" or depressive state set in for a while.
The first real noticeable "low" or depressive cycle that was noticeable to others was after my Allison was born in 2009. It was another battle through lots of pregnancy sickness followed by 3 months of complete bed rest! Seriously! I emotionally did really well through all of that and then just like before I bounced out of bed after that baby was born and all those "highs" from above came back.
Then just like before, when Allison hit 4 months old was that noticeable "low." That one that sent me into my Bishop for the first time. That one that sent me into my OBGYN begging for help. That one that made me swallow the first medication I had ever tried. I took it until Allison was a year old and then I slowly took myself off it.
And that took me up to my "highs" in the summer of 2011. That landed me at my Panic Attack and then to that moment that I was sitting in my bedroom searching my journals trying to remember and trying to put patterns together as I was in and out of my therapists' office with this new diagnosis of Bipolar.
I had my answer. It came to me through study but mostly a very soft, peaceful, confirming feeling from my Heavenly Father that I could feel from my head clear down to my toes. I had Bipolar and Anxiety Disorder. I had a doctor and a therapist that I was clearly led to. I had a husband that loved me "no matter what." I had a Bishop that was leading and guiding and teaching me that I needed to fix what was broken. I had parents and in-laws that were flying out to help me. I had dear friends that were watching children and such.
I knew as do the psychiatrists and psychologists that my set of symptoms that were present in clusters were lasting for a certain length of time, and were "episodes" that literally had a beginning phase, a middle "worst" phase, and a recovery phase. I knew that I needed an antidepressant and a mood stabilizer medication at the right dosage for me. I knew I also needed help with sorting things out in my mind and tools to help me and my family.
I was learning that this was a life long journey for me.
Monday, October 21, 2013
I Beg for "NO Judgement!"
I plead with you to set aside all judgements. I warn you that I have prayed long and hard about the things I write here. As I sat a couple of weeks ago and watched Jeffery R. Holland give a talk called "Like a Broken Vessel" (it seemed like to just me), I knew it was time. I must begin to write.
There are some challenges and trials that I have been blessed with. I say "blessed" because I mean just that. My challenges and trials have become prized possessions to me that make me who I am today at this very moment. Each time I experience one of these trials/challenges I consider myself to be just a little more empathetic, a little more less judgmental or a little more able to have charitable or christlike love for others around me.
I was diagnosed with a soft form of bipolar and anxiety disorder almost exactly 2 years ago! There! I wrote it and I'm about to send it out to whoever reads it. Until now, I have shared every second of this with my husband, a little less with my family, a little less than that with a select few friends and been closed about this to so many others.
I must say that when I do open my mouth and share I'm always surprised to find others going through similar things. I've learned that it's very therapeutic to me when I'm sharing these challenges with others and very uplifting to me to feel like I'm actually helping someone else because of my own suffering and learning.
I feel like Elder Holland gave me permission to have "no more shame in acknowledging" this bipolar and anxiety as "realities of mortal life." He said that there is no shame in speaking of "high blood pressure" or in speaking of "the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor."
I also feel like Elder Holland shouted from the roof tops for me--he said that those "discouraging moments" we all have with the ups and downs that life just brings is not the mental problems that I am dealing with. He put words in my mouth to help me describe these trials..."an affliction so severe that it significantly restricts (my) ability to function fully." My "crater in the mind" as he describes it is "so deep that no one can responsibly suggest it would surely go away if (I) would just square (my) shoulders and think more positively!"
Just as I have found others that I look up to that go through these same battles, Elder Holland highlighted even more people that I look up to for their faith and leadership that have had depression or similar issues (including himself). I felt normal. I felt validated. I felt just as good as those people are when he spoke that conference day!
When he laid out the things we should do in this situation I had the realization that everything he suggested, I mean EVERTYTHING he said, I was led to do. I testify that my Heavenly Father, your Heavenly Father too, led me gently down this same path he spoke of. Let me just highlight what he said:
He said to "never lose faith." I always knew every second that My Heavenly Father loved me. I never forgot for one second my testimony of all thats true!
He said to "faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord." Even though I didn't always feel the peace I sought for, I promise you that I always read my scriptures, said my prayers, sang hymns and went to church. Always! I did just as he said...devotional practices that I had practiced my whole life...so glad it was a habit already.
He said to "seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being." I wont go completely into it but the day I was diagnosed, my husband had to leave on a flight for work. I was left in my puddle of tears on the couch when I heard a knock on the door. Now, I'll write about this more soon but one of the things I just could not do at this time was open a door to anyone. It didn't matter who it was. Somewhere I mustered the strength to open the door to my Bishop that day. I kid you not, my Bishop was standing there, on my porch. It was the middle of the day and the middle of the week. He was led there. He was sent by pure inspiration. That gave me that opportunity I needed to "seek his counsel!"
Elder Holland spoke of "cherishing priesthood blessings." I did just that--sometimes from Justin, sometimes from home teachers, once or twice from my own father.
I loved when Elder Holland said flat out "slow down, rest up, replenish and refill." I was able to do these things through the "advice" I sought from a "certified trainer" that in Elder Hollands words had "professional skills and good values."
I'll end tonight with one of my favorite lines from Elder Hollands talk..."If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing AND get the best medical care available."
So, this isn't all that I know I need or want to share. It's just the beginning. Keep visiting here as I unfold experiences and lessons learned. I sincerely pray that as there is "no judgements" placed here that complete compassion will be felt for each other.
I was diagnosed with a soft form of bipolar and anxiety disorder almost exactly 2 years ago! There! I wrote it and I'm about to send it out to whoever reads it. Until now, I have shared every second of this with my husband, a little less with my family, a little less than that with a select few friends and been closed about this to so many others.
I must say that when I do open my mouth and share I'm always surprised to find others going through similar things. I've learned that it's very therapeutic to me when I'm sharing these challenges with others and very uplifting to me to feel like I'm actually helping someone else because of my own suffering and learning.
I feel like Elder Holland gave me permission to have "no more shame in acknowledging" this bipolar and anxiety as "realities of mortal life." He said that there is no shame in speaking of "high blood pressure" or in speaking of "the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor."
I also feel like Elder Holland shouted from the roof tops for me--he said that those "discouraging moments" we all have with the ups and downs that life just brings is not the mental problems that I am dealing with. He put words in my mouth to help me describe these trials..."an affliction so severe that it significantly restricts (my) ability to function fully." My "crater in the mind" as he describes it is "so deep that no one can responsibly suggest it would surely go away if (I) would just square (my) shoulders and think more positively!"
Just as I have found others that I look up to that go through these same battles, Elder Holland highlighted even more people that I look up to for their faith and leadership that have had depression or similar issues (including himself). I felt normal. I felt validated. I felt just as good as those people are when he spoke that conference day!
When he laid out the things we should do in this situation I had the realization that everything he suggested, I mean EVERTYTHING he said, I was led to do. I testify that my Heavenly Father, your Heavenly Father too, led me gently down this same path he spoke of. Let me just highlight what he said:
He said to "never lose faith." I always knew every second that My Heavenly Father loved me. I never forgot for one second my testimony of all thats true!
He said to "faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord." Even though I didn't always feel the peace I sought for, I promise you that I always read my scriptures, said my prayers, sang hymns and went to church. Always! I did just as he said...devotional practices that I had practiced my whole life...so glad it was a habit already.
He said to "seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being." I wont go completely into it but the day I was diagnosed, my husband had to leave on a flight for work. I was left in my puddle of tears on the couch when I heard a knock on the door. Now, I'll write about this more soon but one of the things I just could not do at this time was open a door to anyone. It didn't matter who it was. Somewhere I mustered the strength to open the door to my Bishop that day. I kid you not, my Bishop was standing there, on my porch. It was the middle of the day and the middle of the week. He was led there. He was sent by pure inspiration. That gave me that opportunity I needed to "seek his counsel!"
Elder Holland spoke of "cherishing priesthood blessings." I did just that--sometimes from Justin, sometimes from home teachers, once or twice from my own father.
I loved when Elder Holland said flat out "slow down, rest up, replenish and refill." I was able to do these things through the "advice" I sought from a "certified trainer" that in Elder Hollands words had "professional skills and good values."
I'll end tonight with one of my favorite lines from Elder Hollands talk..."If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing AND get the best medical care available."
So, this isn't all that I know I need or want to share. It's just the beginning. Keep visiting here as I unfold experiences and lessons learned. I sincerely pray that as there is "no judgements" placed here that complete compassion will be felt for each other.
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