Spending the last few days in bed may be boring me to death but at least I have had my computer with me and have been making a slide show of our last year, setting goals, checkin' the budget...you know all that stuff!
Through this self evaluation, I rediscovered a moment I had a couple weeks ago. Some may call it an "ah ha moment." I like to call it complete inspiration from my Heavenly Father. He taught me that I have an inherent quality from Him to want more, to grow, to take the next step.
I was standing over my kitchen sink, hands in the soapy water and eyes out the window. My mind was reflecting on 7 years ago when Justin and I moved to this home. We had 3 things we were working for and wanting: a house, a third baby and a second car! No small tasks--that's for sure! Well, we were blessed to buy our home. After a miscarriage, years of waiting and 3 months of bed rest our Allison was born. Six months later, we finally purchased our mini van!
I guess as I stood over those bubbly dishes, I was feeling a sort of guilty feeling because I was standing there wishing for the next house, Justin's next job...wanting more. I was just wanting the next step up. I was telling myself I should be so grateful that those wishes and desires had been granted me and shouldn't want more. It was that very moment that my Heavenly Father taught me.
I had a deep feeling of "wait a minute, you're God's daughter!" My very Divine Nature is to progress, perfect, to grow. This scripture came to mind:
"I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept,...and blessed are those you hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him who receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them that shall be taken away even that which they have." (2 Nephi 28:30)
I should want more. I'm made to progress and create. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf's words came into my mind:
"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before." (Happiness, Your Heritage, Conf 2008)
As long as I'm following God's commandments and in Elder Robbins words "facing the Lord"and moving my mind and feet forward than God will keep giving me more in order for me to be able to progress in my talents, my education, my family, my missionary work. My progression means I can help His Kingdom grow! He wants us, His children, to continually improve upon those lines and precepts!
It's not bad that I want more. It's what is that "more?"
As I'm trying to pass through this flu bug and into this new year, I realize and see much progression behind me and I'm grateful. I have a great year of "more" to come. I am looking forward to seeing where my Divine inherent ability to create and progress takes me.
I'm so blessed to have had a year of building more knowledge and how to take care of my mind and body. I'm blessed to have had a year of learning what it's like to be a working mother of 3 children all at school. I'm that much better at being a pilot's wife. I know a little more about standing in front of a room full of women I look up to and trying to teach them. There's a never ending list of all I've learned and I feel a pivotal moment into this next year of "more." I admit. Yes. I want more.
|Great way to end the year--family bike ride! No more training wheels!|