Yesterday I got another phone call from the school saying that Sarah was having an out right tantrum at her teacher because the little snack they were having wasn't what she expected. I kid you not, Sarah was yelling so loud that when the teacher called I could hardly hear her. After I got Sarah on the phone and did our little ritual of deep breathing over the phone, reminded her that her mom was on the same team as the teacher, and then helped her to see that the snack really was just right for what she needed then I could hear a calm come over and feel a smile on the other side of that phone.
These little experiences are so familiar to me now. I always knew that Sarah didn't understand and that I needed to basically treat her like a preschooler when these things would pop up but I have a new understanding now.
I have felt and know what it feels like to not be able to control your own emotions. I know what it's like to have a disturbing moment that is propelling me over a cliff when all it truly is is a small hiccup. I understand feeling way stronger and much more capable of taking something on than my physical body can in reality handle. I know what it's like to have nervous and anxious feelings take over me even though someone is there telling me it's okay. I've felt racing thoughts over and over again when I'd like to have calm. I know too well what it's like to feel so happy I want to dance and then the next second "snap" into an angry, sad spiral.
All of these are probably familiar feelings to everyone at some degree but bipolar, anxiety, or mental disabilities are absolutely more extreme cases. I get this as I watch my own 3 children--two very healthy children and my Sarah with the "extreme cases." These emotions and feelings are present in all three but if graphed out on a sheet of paper much higher peaks and slopes for my Sarah by far.
I believe that one reason why I have these battles in my own life are to be able to understand this daughter of mine. I'm able to walk her through her own struggles in such a way now that I feel empathy, love, understanding...oh, how much understanding is there when you've felt and suffered the same way.
I never have these thoughts without thinking of my Savior. He not only has glimpses into my head but has felt and suffered every bump, every sad, every hurt, every lonely dark feeling, every racing thought, every guilt...every weak moment of mine. I can not even explain in these typed words how calm and peaceful I feel to know that He is "walking me through my own struggles" with complete understanding.
We are not meant to learn and struggle alone. Just as I teach the children at our church to sing...Absolutely, our Heavenly Father has given us families to help us become what he wants us to be. Absolutely, our Heavenly Father has given us His Son to help us become what he wants us to be. He's there. All we have to do is use His Atonement.
The Family Is of God
Our Father has a family
It's me, It's you; all others too--we are his children.
He sent each one of us to earth, through birth
To live and learn here in families.
God gave us families.
To help us become what he wants us to be.
This is how he shares his love
For the family is of God.
A mother's purpose is to
care, prepare, to nurture and strengthen all her children.
She teaches children to obey, to pray,
to love and serve in the family.
God gave us families,
To help us become what he wants us to be.
This is how he shares his love
For the family is of God.
A father's place is to
preside, provide, to love and teach the gospel to his children
A father leads in family prayer
to share their love for Father in Heaven
God gave us families,
To help us become what he wants us to be.
This is how he shares his love
For the family is of God.
