I just came home from dropping my two big kids off at school. I had all three of my kiddos at the pediatricians for their yearly well checks and lets just say I was so highly strung that I was having an out right battle in my head!
It was supposed to be quick in and out...see how tall they were, check their weight and possibly get their flu shots...or I mean the mist that all three prefer over a needle in their arm. Didn't quite turn out that way.
First, I was informed they don't have record of Spencer's shots before he was three...I've got to track down his old doctors in another state. Sarah is apparently having to adjust her diet and any talk of this over her head never turns out peaceful. Alli pead her pants all down the front of me as she was clinging to my face and pony tail during the dreaded shots. Spencer was complaining the whole time about shots which automatically raises the anxiety for Sarah even though I give her a darn shot every single day of her life! The one at a time shots with the others out in the hall coloring didn't even help.
So, all the tantrums, the four year bouncing off the walls, the urine smell, stickers all over the place, hand full of paper work, questions of missing lunch time at school, and the nine year old turning into a ball of anxiety deflated me! I'll admit I may have looked like I was keeping it together but when I walked in the door to our house is when that battle in my head began!
Walk the dog? Do the dishes? Pick up my produce? Eat lunch? the full mailbox? the laundry with my pead on clothes and Alli's? play with the bored 4 yr. old? vacuum the crumbs and dog hair? maybe wipe up the eggs from breakfast? look at my phone that I accidentally left home all morning? and then it came to me...movie for Alli and scriptures in my bedroom with the door closed. I didn't have anything else in me.
May I share a prayer I had...just a part. Usually I pray for peace or more likely plead for peace in moments like this. I stopped. I prayed for direction today. Help in Choosing the Better or Best out of the Good everyone. That theme put a little air back in my deflated spirit today. I then turned to a scripture just by chance:
Alma 37:35-37
"O, remember, my son [daughter], and learn....Yea, cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and withersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.
Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good...."
I went to bed last night with a grateful heart from friends helping me through stressful things at the church but a very high strung mind and heart. I woke up pretty uptight still and came home worse. I tell you what...I forgot to ask for my Heavenly Father's support! I just try to do it on my own way too much. It's not right. He would not have it that way and He let me know just now.
I'm thankful for this hug from heaven! So grateful!
